Understanding and Managing Your Child’s Anticipatory Anxiety

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of worry about an upcoming event? Maybe it’s a new job, a medical diagnosis, an upcoming vacation—or just the Sunday scaries.

Feeling anxious or fearful about a future event or situation that may or may not take place has been termed “anticipatory anxiety,” and it can be debilitating. Children can experience anticipatory anxiety, too. Because they have less experience with managing their emotions and they're more reliant upon routine, these emotions might be even more stressful for them than for an adult.

Let's explore what are the three types of anxiety and how to stop anticipatory anxiety in your child.

What Is Anticipatory Anxiety?

As the name suggests, anticipatory anxiety indicates exaggerated worries or fears surrounding an upcoming event or situation. General anxiety encompasses broader, less event-focused fears. Anticipatory anxiety, on the other hand, involves excessive worry about a specific future event.

Anticipatory anxiety is usually not considered a specific disorder, as recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. But it can often be a symptom of other anxiety-related disorders, including generalized anxiety, social phobia, and panic disorder. 

Anticipatory anxiety can affect anyone. It’s especially challenging, however, for children, who may lack the coping mechanisms to manage these emotions effectively. This type of anxiety can manifest for children in various ways, from dreading school transitions to avoiding social activities. Addressing it early can significantly improve their well-being.

Dealing with severe anticipatory anxiety in your child might make you scared to try anything new. But understanding the root causes of this anxiety and learning how to support your kid can help the whole family cope with these feelings. And you'll all come out more emotionally resilient on the other side.

What Causes Anticipatory Anxiety?

Just like adults, children may experience anticipatory anxiety for a number of reasons. Intense academic pressures mixed with perfectionist tendencies may cause anticipatory anxiety for standardized tests, for example. Understanding your child’s emotional landscape better (do they like to be in control?) can help you prepare for future bouts of anxiety.

Another common trigger for anticipatory anxiety is a change in routine. Studies indicate that routines have psychological benefits, including helping children feel safe and secure. However, life happens, and sometimes even the strictest routines have to be broken. Still, just because the routine needs to change doesn’t mean your child understands why or will easily adapt.

Change can bring unfamiliarity and unpredictability. Your child may feel a nervousness about the future that manifests via heightened anxiety as they analyze dozens of possible negative outcomes. What if the kids at their new school don’t like them? What if they can’t hack it academically? 

Unfamiliarity, lack of control, and previous negative experiences often amplify anticipatory anxiety. For instance, a child who struggled socially in the past may dread meeting new classmates due to fear of rejection.

Anticipatory anxiety is also linked to various anxiety disorders. One study found that children with these disorders saw increased amygdala activation during surprising or uncertain events. This might indicate their brains work harder to process uncertainty. 

By paying attention to your child’s patterns and worries, parents can play a crucial role in navigating transitions and coping with anticipatory anxiety in a healthy way.

How to Identify Anticipatory Anxiety

Being able to recognize the symptoms of your child’s anticipatory anxiety is the first step to getting them help. While visible fretting isn’t the only symptom, if your child is chronically anxious about upcoming events, they may be experiencing anticipatory anxiety.

Here are other signs to look out for: 

• Physical symptoms (especially when they happen before a big event): Nausea; stomachaches; sweating; headaches; racing heart; insomnia
• Emotional symptoms: Persistent fear or dread of the future; restlessness; irritability
• Behavioral symptoms: Avoidance of activities (like refusing to participate in new activities); difficulty concentrating; repetitive questioning

Pay attention to these symptoms as they occur. The sooner you recognize anticipatory anxiety, the sooner you can mitigate its effect on your child’s life. Left unaddressed, this anxiety could impact their performance in school, their relationships with their friends, and their overall well-being. Prompt intervention reduces the likelihood that the anxiety escalates. Just as with most medical treatment, early mental health interventions are most effective. 

If you think your child is experiencing anticipatory anxiety, it may be time to consult a licensed mental health professional.

How to Deal With Anticipatory Anxiety

Seeking to understand your child’s feelings will help you navigate the murky waters of anticipatory anxiety. Use these tips to help. 

Prioritize Open Communication

Allow your child to express their fears—even if, or especially if, they’re scared of your reaction. For example, your child might be worried you’ll be angry because they feel unprepared for a test. It’s important to validate those feelings and reassure them it’s okay to feel anxious.

Prepare For Potential Triggers in Advance

Transitions and changes in routine, like big vacations or returning to school after summer break, can be huge triggers for anticipatory anxiety. Start preparing your children for changes early. 

Begin talking about the transition in advance: “In two weeks, we’re going to be getting on a plane to visit Disney World.” 

When the event draws closer, prepare them more explicitly by talking about their fear of the unknown. Adjust routines and schedules if necessary.

Practice Mindfulness

Even the best preparation can’t necessarily head off all of your child’s anticipatory anxiety. Remind your child that anxiety is normal, and everyone experiences it sometimes. 

Teach self-care, including mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Help your child meditate or walk them through progressive muscle relaxations. Teach visualization exercises by encouraging your child to imagine a positive outcome for a given event.

“If-then” plans can help prepare for possible scenarios. For example, “If I forget my lines in the play, then I’ll take a deep breath and try again.”

Creative activities, like drawing or music, can help relieve anxiety, too. And don’t forget the body! Regular exercise can be a natural stress reliever. 

Integrating these practices into a daily routine will help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms. 

How to Stop Anticipatory Anxiety After It Starts

If your child is already deep in the anticipatory headspace, it can be difficult to jolt them out. But there are some strategies that can improve things. 

First, help your child recognize and challenge their anxious thoughts. Why are they so scared of their final exam? Perhaps they’re worried that if they fail, they’ll be kicked out of school and never get into college. 

Worse-case scenarios, exaggeration, and misinterpretation often fuel anxiety. Framing situations in a more positive light can help defuse the worry.

The grounding techniques mentioned above, like meditation or progressive muscle relaxation, can also be lifesavers in the moment. Ask your child to focus on their breathing, name objects in the room, or feel something textured, like a soft blanket. These techniques divert attention from anxious thoughts, bringing the child back to the present.

How to Treat Anticipatory Anxiety

If anticipatory anxiety becomes too severe to manage with support and coping skills, consider bringing in a mental health professional. A licensed therapist can dig into the reasons behind the anxiety and develop personalized coping strategies for your child.

Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is a common treatment that works well for anticipation anxiety. CBT helps children understand their thoughts and feelings. They’ll learn to identify the connection between those events and their own behaviors. With the help of their therapist, your child can reframe their thought patterns, replacing catastrophic thinking with realistic perspectives.

If your child continues to struggle with anticipatory anxiety after therapy, medication may be helpful. Many doctors consider selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors—or SSRIs—the best antidepressant for anxiety, including anticipatory anxiety. 

What medication is used for anticipation anxiety? There are many medications that might be suitable. SSRIs aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Your child’s pediatrician or a child psychiatrist can determine the best medication for their needs. 

SSRIs or other medications should only be considered after exploring non-pharmaceutical options, and always under professional guidance.

How to Stop Anticipatory Anxiety

Anticipatory anxiety can be extremely disruptive, diminishing your child’s enthusiasm for new activities or adventures. Remind your child that it’s normal to be anxious about the future, and reassure them you’re available to talk through their worries.

Teaching your child coping techniques and calling in the professionals if needed can help manage your child’s anticipatory anxiety. For help, get a free consultation from a licensed Handspring Health therapist today.

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