How to Keep Your Kids Mentally Fit During the Holidays

The holiday season can be a time of immense joy and merriment for many of us, but it can also be a time of increased stress. Most adults are aware of the stress that the holiday season can cause, but it’s also important to recognize the impacts that the holidays can have on our kids. Between jam-packed schedules, overconsumption of sweets, lack of sleep, and heightened emotions, it’s common for kids to have some rough moments during the holidays. Some may even experience meltdowns, tantrums, or even increased anxiety and depression related to the holiday season.While holiday stress is inevitable at times, there are things you can do to minimize it and ensure that your kids stay mentally and emotionally fit during the holiday season.

Between jam-packed schedules, overconsumption of sweets, lack of sleep, and heightened emotions, it’s common for kids to have some rough moments during the holidays. Some may even experience meltdowns, tantrums, or even increased anxiety and depression related to the holiday season.

While holiday stress is inevitable at times, there are things you can do to minimize it and ensure that your kids stay mentally and emotionally fit during the holiday season.

Why the Holiday Season Can Be Stressful for Kids

Most kids are introduced to the idea that the holiday season is a special time at an early age—a time of togetherness, yummy treats, and gift-giving. While there is nothing inherently wrong with trying to make the holidays magical for kids, it’s also easy for the holidays to end up eliciting some difficult emotions.

Here's just a brief and incomplete list of why the holidays might be stressful for kids:

The holidays can be a time of sensory overload.
There are many high expectations attached to the holiday seasons, and kids may be prone to feeling let down if their expectations don’t match the reality.
Routines are often disrupted and kids may also become sleep deprived during the holidays.
Kids may pick up on parents’ holiday stress.
Poor eating habits, a sedentary lifestyle, lack of fresh air, and busy schedules can also contribute to heightened stress.

How To Support Kids' Emotional Well-being During the Holidays

The first step to helping kids stay emotionally well during the holidays is simply being aware that this time of year may be stressful for kids. You know your child best, and there may be aspects of the holidays that your child is more sensitive to, such as lack of sleep or busy schedules.

Here are some general tips for helping your child manage their holiday stress and emotions.

Keep Your Own Stress in Check

Dealing with extended family, having to shop and cook, a fully booked calendar—all of the events of the holiday season can be very stressful for adults. If you have a mental health condition, the holidays can make it worse. In fact, a poll from NAMI found that 64% of adults with mental health struggles reported that the holidays exacerbated their condition.

What we often forget is that kids are little sponges and can easily pick up on and internalize your stress. That’s why managing your own holiday stress and mental health can help decrease your kids’ stress and keep them emotionally balanced. That might look like implementing healthy boundaries with your extended family, saying “no” to activities and obligations that don’t bring you joy, and managing your stress through meditation, journaling, and touching base with a trusted therapist.

Adjust Expectations

Managing your children’s expectations about the holiday season is important. If you are giving out gifts, it’s understandable that you want to keep it exciting for your kids, including “playing Santa,” if that is part of your family’s tradition. But as much you want your kids to think of the holidays as a time that’s special and out-of-the-ordinary, you want to make sure that your children have realistic expectations for what will happen.

Remember: kids pick up on your own attitude. Emphasizing that the holidays are about fun and togetherness, but not about perfection or excess can be helpful. Letting your kids know that it’s okay to feel disappointed about what gifts you get and modeling healthy ways of sharing that disappointment can also be helpful. Teaching your children about gratitude and sharing that as part of your family’s rituals is useful too. Giving your children an idea of how many gifts they will get, and underscoring quality versus quantity, can also help them manage their expectations.

Routines, Routines, Routines

Kids thrive on routines. When there are extended days off of school and when your family is traveling, staying up late, and just generally being out of routine, this can create extra stress for kids. The Academy of American Pediatrics (AAP) recommends sticking to your child’s sleep and mealtime schedule as much as possible during the holiday season as a way to ground your child and keep them mentally and emotionally well.

Try Not to Overschedule

It can be challenging not to overschedule during the holidays. There are usually lots of social and family obligations during this time, and it can be hard to cancel or say no. But children are easily overstimulated, need more sleep than adults, and are prone to meltdowns if they are overextended. As much as possible, try not to pack too many activities and obligations into your days during the holidays.

What you can schedule is some down time. Whether or not your child takes a nap, make sure to schedule some quiet time each day during the holidays. Even just 30 minutes of book reading, cuddling, or resting in a dim room can work wonders for your child’s mental health and stamina during the holidays.

How Can I Keep My Kids Mentally Active During The Holiday Season?

Besides the emotional impacts that the holidays can have on kids, just the physical conditions that they experience during this time can make it hard to function at their best. Sleep schedules are thrown off, junk food is consumed at alarming rates, and screen time often goes through the roof.

Here are tips for keeping your child physically and mentally fit during the holidays:

Sleep: Stick to sleep schedules and bedtime routines as much as possible.

Food: It’s almost inevitable that kids will eat more junk and sweets during this time, but be mindful of their intake, and make sure to balance it with favorite healthy foods.

Screentime: TV and iPad use also feels bound to increase when you are on vacation, traveling, or when you are out of routine, but try to set limits, since screentime can make kids cranky when used in excess.

Movement and Fresh Air: During the holiday season, it’s usually often chilly and there’s more sedentary time than in summer, but it's important to keep your kids moving and exposed to fresh air when possible, as it can boost their mood and keep them healthy and energized.

Holiday Traditions that Nurture Kids' Mental Health

You know that managing your child’s mental health during the holidays is important. So what are some tangible ways to do that? What holiday traditions can you add to your repertoire that nurture your child’s mental health? Here are some ideas.

Create Family Rituals

Having family traditions and rituals attached to the holidays often comes naturally. Traditions like a Thanksgiving football game, putting out cookies and milk for Santa, or lighting the menorah each day, can give your child a sense of constancy, excitement, and warmth. It can be fun to make up your own unique family traditions, too. Maybe there’s a favorite movie you like to watch over the holidays, or a specific board game your family likes to play each holiday season. Whatever it is, creating traditions during the holidays can be grounding for children. Just be open to the fact that kids grow and change, and traditions may need to grow and change along with your kids.

Helping Others

Engaging in holiday activities that involve helping others can teach your children gratitude and the power of putting positivity out into the world. It can also make the holidays less about excess and materialism.

Ideas for helping others include:

Donating toys to a toy drive
Bringing used clothing and canned foods to a shelter
Donating money to causes you believe in
Visiting older relatives
Volunteering at a soup kitchen

Value Experiences Over Gifts

If you’ve ever noticed that your child gets a new toy, plays with it for a day or two, and then forgets about it entirely, you aren’t alone. That’s why some families forgo gifts altogether (or at least get fewer of them) and instead give their children the gift of experience. This may mean going on a special vacation, going to see a theater show, taking a ceramics class, or going on a special trip to the city. Meaningful experiences often create meaningful memories, and they teach kids the value of personal connections over material things.

Where to Go From Here

There are many positive choices you can make to ensure that the holidays are less stressful for your kids. But sometimes you might need a little extra help.

Consider reaching out to a therapist if your child has significant mental health issues during the holidays, such as:

Frequent, explosive meltdowns
Sleep issues
Trouble with even minor routine changes
Increased symptoms of anxiety and depression

If you are noticing these symptoms during the holiday but also during other stressful times in life, you might want to consider an evaluation and treatment from a licensed mental health professional. If your child is struggling, you don’t have to do it alone. Compassionate and caring help is out there for you and your child.

If you need further support or assistance in helping a child who is struggling during the holidays, or has in the past, don’t hesitate to reach out for a free consultation from a licensed Handspring Health therapist today.