Tantrums in 7-Year-Olds: Causes, Solutions & Parenting Tips

Temper tantrums in 7-year-olds can be confusing and overwhelming for parents, especially when these emotional outbursts continue well beyond the toddler years. Understanding why your child may experience tantrums at this age and how to manage them effectively can help both you and your child navigate these challenging moments with more ease and patience. 

Is It Normal for a 7 Year Old to Have a Temper Tantrum?

As parents, it's natural to feel concerned when your 7-year-old still experiences temper tantrums or emotional outbursts. These moments can feel frustrating and leave you wondering why these are occurring. While it's easy to assume that tantrums should be behind them by now, emotional outbursts can still happen as your child navigates the complexities of their development and evolving emotions. It’s important to recognize that these tantrums may stem from a variety of causes, from physical discomfort to the natural difficulty of emotional regulation. By understanding the roots of where these emotional meltdowns stem from, you can better support your child in managing their emotions and reduce the frequency of tantrums. 

What Causes Temper Tantrums in 7 Year Olds?

Tantrums in 7-year-olds are not always caused by one factor alone. Instead, they can stem from a combination of internal and external influences. Below are some of the key contributors to these emotional outbursts:

Highly Sensitive

Some children are naturally more sensitive than others, making them more susceptible to becoming overwhelmed by their emotions. Known as highly sensitive children (HSCs), these kids may be more easily overstimulated by their environment, leading to emotional meltdowns when they feel flooded by their feelings. Sensitivity is not a disorder but rather a trait that requires understanding and support from parents.

Mental Health or Behavioral Challenge

Certain behavioral or mental health challenges can make tantrums more frequent or intense. Conditions such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), or anxiety can contribute to difficulties in emotional regulation, making distress and tantrums more likely to occur. Addressing these conditions can greatly reduce tantrums.

Transitions

Transitions—such as changing activities, switching from school to home, or going from playtime to bedtime—can be particularly tough for children. Kids who struggle with transitions might resist changing from a preferred activity to a less preferred one, leading to frustration and emotional outbursts. Understanding when transitions are coming and providing support around these with self-soothing/regulating techniques are important for supporting distress regarding transitions. Using grounding and mindfulness techniques can be helpful, including soothing music of their choice, stress balls, or simply counting and breathing together to support in co-regulating. 

Lack of Control

Children naturally crave some degree of autonomy and control over their lives. When they feel powerless or out of control, especially in situations that directly impact them, it can trigger a tantrum. These outbursts are often the result of frustration over a lack of agency in their daily experiences.

Lack of Co-Regulation

At age 7, children are still learning how to manage their emotions independently. They rely on their parents to help co-regulate their emotions during times of distress. If a child doesn't feel supported in managing their emotions or doesn't have the tools to do so, they may lose control and experience a tantrum. This is why modeling, encouraging and teaching your child to self-soothe and regulate is essential. Ensuring your child feels safe with you to explore how they may be feeling, identifying triggers or antecedent factors are all essential in this process. 

Family Discord

Family dynamics, such as disagreements or tension between family members, can affect a child's emotional well-being. Even if children don’t fully understand the specifics of a situation, they can pick up on the emotional cues and become upset, leading to emotional outbursts of their own. This underscores the importance of a healthy and secure attachment with your child. While disagreements are a natural part of relationships, ensuring your child feels safe and heard is essential. If there is ongoing conflict at home, being mindful of how this is handled and addressed with your child is important. 

Childhood Trauma

Trauma or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can strongly contribute to tantrums as nervous system dysregulation often significantly stems from these factors. If a child has experienced trauma, it can manifest in emotional outbursts. Traumatic events may lead to heightened physiological and emotional responses to distressing moments (or even moments that may not appear to be distressing to others), making it difficult for the child to manage their emotions. 

Learned Behavior

In some cases, tantrums are a learned behavior. If a child learns that throwing a tantrum results in getting what they want or attention from their parents, they might continue this behavior. Reinforcing alternative, more constructive methods of expressing needs and emotions can help reduce tantrums over time.

How Do You Respond to a 7-Year-Old Tantrum?

When your 7-year-old is having a tantrum, your immediate response can make a big difference in the outcome. While it’s important to remain calm, it can be difficult when your child’s outburst is overwhelming. Here are some immediate strategies for handling tantrums:

• Stay Calm: Take a deep breath and resist the urge to react impulsively. Your child’s emotional state is likely to mirror yours, so maintaining composure is essential.
• Acknowledge Their Feelings: Show empathy by acknowledging your child’s emotions. Saying something like, “I can see you're really upset right now” helps them feel understood.
• Set Boundaries: While you should be compassionate, it's important to maintain boundaries. For example, calmly explain that hitting or throwing objects is not acceptable, and guide them toward healthier ways to express frustration.
• Provide Space: If the tantrum escalates, giving your child some physical space can help them calm down. A quiet corner or a safe area to cool off can be beneficial during emotional meltdowns.

What Are Strategies to Reduce Tantrums?

Long-term strategies can help reduce the frequency and intensity of tantrums. By creating a supportive environment, you can foster your child’s emotional regulation skills and encourage positive behavior.

Encourage Safe Emotional Expression

Help your child develop language skills to express their emotions more effectively. Instead of resorting to a tantrum, teach them words like “angry,” “frustrated,” and “sad,” and practice using these words when they’re calm. Encourage your child that there are no “bad” emotions and that you are a safe space for your child to share them with you. 

Create Routine and Consistency

Children thrive on structure and predictability. A consistent routine gives them a sense of control and helps manage emotional triggers. Knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety and tantrums that stem from surprises or transitions.

Validate Their Feelings

Validating your child’s feelings by acknowledging their emotions can help them feel heard. For example, saying, “I understand that you’re upset because we need to leave the park now” shows empathy and can de-escalate the situation. You may even want to share that you get upset or frustrated with adult tasks and how you handle it in a constructive way. 

Teach Coping Skills

Provide your child with tools to manage strong emotions. Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, or using a calm-down corner can help them self-regulate when they start to feel overwhelmed.

Set Up Positive Reinforcement

Reinforce good behavior by rewarding positive emotional expression. Praise your child when they use words to express frustration or when they handle a difficult situation without resorting to a tantrum.

Attachment Regulation & Competency 

The ARC (Attachment, Regulation, and Competency) model offers a comprehensive approach to supporting children during emotional distress, such as tantrums. By fostering a secure attachment with your child, you create a foundation of trust, which helps them feel safe and understood during distress and emotional outbursts. Regulation focuses on teaching emotional management techniques, such as breathing exercises or grounding methods, to help the child calm down and cope with strong emotions. Competency emphasizes building the child’s confidence by teaching them skills to navigate challenges and express their emotions in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these three components, the ARC model helps children regulate their emotions, reduce tantrums, and develop lasting emotional resilience.

When Should You Seek Professional Help?

If your child’s tantrums are frequent, severe, or don’t improve with consistent strategies, it may be time to consult a mental health professional. A therapist can help identify underlying issues such as anxiety, ADHD, or sensory processing challenges and provide tailored interventions to improve emotional regulation.

Next Steps

Tantrums in 7-year-olds are often a natural part of child development. By understanding the root causes, applying the right strategies, and remaining patient, you can help your child navigate big emotions and reduce tantrums over time. With consistent support and tools for emotional regulation, you and your child can move forward with greater ease and understanding.

If you’re struggling to manage your child’s emotional meltdowns or want personalized guidance, consider scheduling a free consultation with a licensed therapist at Handspring Health. Our team is ready to offer practical solutions and support tailored to your family’s unique needs.